I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
