I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
