it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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