Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
no. you can't hotbox the world.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
