but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
