i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I think your dad took our porno
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
