Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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