I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
