Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
The power of my boobs compel you
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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