I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
