Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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