I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
