did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
