There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
