what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
