Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
