The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
