I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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