I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
organizing the empties. That sober.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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