Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
