plz talk dirty to me
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
