can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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