nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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