You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
