Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
you never un-have a 4some
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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