I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
