Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
