What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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