If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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