Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
