You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Every concussion has its silver lining
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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