Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Everyone says I win the strip club
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
