I think I died a long time ago.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
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