you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
