And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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