Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Is Oprah even human
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
