Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
