Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
