he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
