yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Dick very happy bro
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
