**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
