She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize