She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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