I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
