come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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