Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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