Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
