to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
