I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Randomize
