Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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