her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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