Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize