Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize