I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
