As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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