Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
babies were throwing up all over the place
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
