Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
