Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
send nudes
from the living room?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
