wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
