wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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