fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
