Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
