Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
