Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize