i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
