Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
