I want to walk on stilts...naked
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Randomize
