I wannas sexs uuuuu
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
